Singleness is not a curse

David, one of our readers, posted a comment on last week’s message “Broken Things”:

“Psalm 51:17 is one of my favorite scriptures but I had never really connected it to some of the events of my own life until I read your post. I see now how God can work through all things to mold us into the likeness of His Son. It was not till I truly had my heart broken that I finally humbly fell to my knees and asked God to take me and mold me into what He would have me be for Him. I now have a purpose and even though I am single and alone I have more joy and peace than I have ever had at any point in my life.”

Notice that David says that he has “more joy and peace” than he has had at any point in his life. He has discovered, first of all, that surrendering his life and will to God brings joy and peace. Secondly, he has accepted his singleness as a gift from God so that he can devote himself wholeheartedly to growing in Christ-likeness.

Many people view the state of singleness as a curse. On the contrary, singleness can be a great blessing in many respects. The apostle Paul lived his life as a single man and had much good to say about it in 1 Corinthians 7:6-9:

“But I say this as a concession, not as a commandment. For I wish that all men were even as I myself (single). But each one has his own gift from God, one in this manner and another in that. But I say to the unmarried and to the widows: It is good for them if they remain even as I am (single); but if they cannot exercise self-control, let them marry. For it is better to marry than to burn with passion.”

If you can learn to control your sexual appetite and be content without the need of a husband or wife, it offers great opportunity and freedom to serve God and enjoy life unhindered. Many committed single people claim it is the ideal state to live in.

Not everyone has the gift of singleness.

But then again, the apostle Paul also said, it is better to marry than to “burn” in lust:

“but if they cannot exercise self-control, let them marry. For it is better to marry than to burn with passion.” – 1 Cor.7:9

Not everyone has the gift of singleness. If they cannot control their sexual drive and are always lusting after the opposite sex (and sinning in the process), then it is better for them to find a Christian spouse to marry and satisfy their need for companionship and sexuality. Although, the apostle Paul adds, you will have trouble in the flesh (vs. 28). The married state brings the potential for relational problems and added responsibilities or restrictions on what you can do or can’t do with your time.

Pray and ask God to give you wisdom. He will let you know if you should remain single for the rest of your life. Or, maybe He wants you to remain single for a certain season of time until He can do the work He needs to do in you. However, If God reveals to you that you do not have the gift of singleness and that you are to pray for Him to send you a godly Christian husband or wife, then by all means do so. It’s not a sin to get married or remarried (if you are divorced), if that is the case.

“Now concerning the things of which you wrote to me: It is good for a man not to touch a woman. Nevertheless, because of sexual immorality, let each man have his own wife, and let each woman have her own husband. Let the husband render to his wife the affection due her, and likewise also the wife to her husband.” – 1 Cor. 7:1-3

- Lu Castillo
FREE INDEED MINISTRIES

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